I wish I could tell you that even though we only knew each other for a little over 3 years, our friendship was a defining event in my life.
Irma I spent most of my school days with you, helping you with assignments, carrying you to classes, even studying for exams with you; I didn't know that all this time you were helping me to become the person that I am today or that your death would have hurt me so much.
On those days where I felt alone and I just needed a friend, I'd always go searching for you.
I had some great moments with you, laughing and talking, preparing for fd11a (Caribbean Civilization) finals (that course gave us hell). I enjoyed navigating your wheel chair across the University campus (It gave me a chance to show off my newly discovered muscles). I was lucky to have had so many opportunities to enjoy your company.
What stuck with me the most about you, was your attitude towards life. You began the University as others do, eager to complete your degree and ready to prove yourself. As time went by you became sick and found yourself confined to a wheel chair. You suffered plenty Irma, but despite everything you were dedicated to completing the degree that you started. Over the years I watched you struggle to do things that people with full use of their limbs found simple and took for granted. I also watched you work hard to overcome your challenges and even out perform us, the ones that really had nothing to complain about.
I could not believe when I first heard the news of your death... I cried later on that night, like I hadn't for some time. I had an interview the following day and it was difficult trying to conceal all the pain that I felt inside. You were old enough to be my mother, yet age never separated us because I saw you as my peer and as my friend. I didn't realize how much I valued you until I lost you. I was a wreck...
What hurt me the most was that you died without completing the degree. That fact destroyed me inside. I felt guilty because in the months before your death I had lost touch with you. I remember the last time we spoke, it was over the phone....you were so weak that you could hardly talk and it sounded like you were crying. I ended that conversation thinking that you were exaggerating the pain and that you'd be ok...but I was wrong.
I regret that I never sought you out in your final days, I also regret that I chose not to attend your funeral (I thought that I couldn't handle it, the pain of seeing you there lifeless, defeated by your illness..). What good is a friend that when you need him the most he is nowhere to be found?
But even though you're gone as cliche as it may sound, you will always remain with me. On the days where I feel like giving up because of life's obstacles, I will remember how hard you tried. Because I knew you, failure isn't an option. I dare not lose my sense of purpose. You may have died in battle but I will continue fighting because of you. I will finish the war for you.
I was blessed the day I met you, I miss our talks, the time we shared. Even now while writing this I cant help but feel the sadness and heart wrenching grief. Irma, its the 1st time I'm losing someone and as the days go by I'm learning how to cope with death.
Goodbye Irma, I can't find all the words to express how I feel inside.
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