I was climbing constantly progressing upwards towards closure, towards meaning...towards resolve.
Then suddenly I was tumbling backwards, plummeting to my death ..or maybe returning to the disorganized noise and confusion again.
It’s like your hand released mine. I reach out in alarm and you pull away. Then balance escapes me and I watch as your face fades from above.
I find myself screaming your name on the way down just as I was screaming it on the way up.
I woke up disturbed from a slumber that seemed to have gone on for years. I rose from the coffin which was my bed and walked alone and lost in the darkness for some time. Even then I felt life returning to my corpse. After much deliberation I stumbled on a curious site, a ghost like myself, tattered and torn from disappointment and born of resentment.
Yet I noticed that the wretched thing was graceful in the gloom. It glowed frighteningly as I started into his eyes and I knew it had come to take me back beyond demise. I fell to the ground in fright as it towered above me roaring like a beast, shifting unnaturally.
Then before it all but took me, I realized whose form the demon had taken, my own. It wasn’t because of you that I was damned; it was my own carelessness that cost me. A boundless courage gripped me as I was consumed by the painful truth.
Then silence….
then nothing…..
No demons but my own….the shadows that I cast….
I found the limitations in life, in death. I will leave this place and return no more…only he knows me, only he will I allow…

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